


blue rose

by Anonymous



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: And all that entails, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Jealousy, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26716765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kanata's illness had been under control for a long time, until now.
Relationships: Nijo Kanata/Nijo Haruka
Kudos: 17
Collections: Anonymous





	blue rose

**Author's Note:**

> TBH Ive been thinking about Kanata with Hanahaki for a long time so I finally just decided to go for it

Kanata was always a frail child, but when his health began to worsen after beginning schooling, simple constitution wasn't enough to explain the cause. It was extremely rarely seen in children Kanata's age, but the x-rays didn't lie - they showed the small buds taking root in his lungs. The early stages of hanahaki disease. It was too unknown at the time what sort of effect removal would have at his age, so they'd instead chosen a different approach. A new and expensive medicine that would suppress the growth now, and hopefully prevent them from growing into full bloom.

Even as a child, Kanata had kept his mouth firmly shut on what - or rather _who_ \- it was that stirred the feelings of love that fed those roots, knowing that his parents would have likely insisted on a removal if he'd told them the truth. Of course, it was impossible for such a thing to remain unknown forever. Kanata had watched the way his parent treated Haruka change, subtly blaming him for Kanata's illness. After all, if he hadn't been born, hadn't been so smothering and sweet and kind toward his sickly little brother, maybe Kanata wouldn't have fallen in love with him.

It surprised Kanata that they didn't force him to undergo surgery once they realized it, but the blossoms had been firmly in remission for years now and Kanata was staunchly against the procedure. Even in the best cases, the love they once felt was completely removed, and in the worst cases, memory of their loved one could be lost along side it. Considering how much of Kanata's life had been spent next to Haruka, it was a very concerning consequence. In the end, as long as Kanata's life wasn't in danger, his parents were willing to let him continue treatment in the hopes that maybe one day the roots would disappear forever. As such, the frequent visits to the hospital to check on the progression of his illness were spaced further apart, on the stern condition that he call immediately if anything changed.

Why wouldn't it? Kanata dutifully took his medicine, day in and day out, and nothing changed even after moving to Tokyo. Nothing changed, even as he watched his big brother trying to put more distance between them. Even as he watched the numbers in Haruka's contact book grow. Even when, when Haruka was ill with cold, the vocalist from Argonavis came over with a fruit basket and a worried expression, because Haruka had missed their little play date.

Kanata had taken the fruit and shooed him away immediately, claiming that his brother was still resting. His smile didn't flinch even as the hot stinging pain in his chest started up - frustration and jealousy. It was the same as back then, when Haruka had made his first friend in primary school. Only worse, because Kanata hadn't figured out a way to make this one go away.

It was a relief once he was gone and Kanata could dump his precious gift firmly in the garbage. Did he think that convenience store bullshit was good enough for his brother? Ah, Haruka really only knew how to gather trash around him... Instead, Kana-chan would prepare him something nice!

Kanata had watched Reiji prepare sliced apples before, and quickly went to work with it. It was a little harder than he thought, but he still managed to pull it off - uneven bunny ears and all. Though there must have been something in the air that made him choke and cough into his elbow.

"Kanata-kun?" Tadaomi called gently from the living room. Ah, how long had he been there? Kanata didn't notice him sometimes, so quiet and watchful in the distance. "You've been coughing a lot lately," he said. "Are you okay?"

To that, Kanata could only smile and wave off his concerns. "I'm fine, Kurama-senpai! I must have just caught Big bro's cold because I've been nursing him so closely!"

When Kanata went to Haruka's room to do just that, Haruka looked absolutely miserable all laid up in bed, glaring at him with weary eyes. "What do you want?" Haruka growled out, voice still raspy.

Kanata set down the plate of sliced apple and a fresh mug of tea on the coffee table. "What else? I'm here to make sure you're taken care of, Big bro!" The look Haruka gave him was one of disbelief, but even it lacked its usual strength. It should have made the pain in Kanata's chest fade, when he thought that he would be the only one to see Haruka looking so haggard, the only one who would ever bother with him, but - Ren's worried expression surfaced in his mind.

If Kanata had let him in, would he have wanted to see how Haruka was? Would Haruka have let him into his room when he was at his weakest, all too eager to replace his little brother with another? Kanata hid a cough with a clearing of his throat, fighting down the tickle at the base of his throat. "How long are you planning to keep up the charade with that dolt from Argonavis, anyway? Two grown men going out to watch a movie for children? That sounds super creepy!" Kanata made sure to laugh, so the thought of Haruka and Ren enjoying themselves seemed more ridiculous than it was anxiety-inducing.

Haruka's eyes burned into his, angry. "What does it matter to you? It's none of your business."

"That's no good, Big bro!" Kanata was happy to go through the similar motions, to act out the part of clingy little brother. "All of your business is my business! Because I love you so much!"

The words did nothing to stir Haruka either way, neither disgust or reciprocation. "I'm going back to bed. Get out of my room."

It was enough to know that Haruka would eventually drink the tea he made and eat the apples he'd cut himself, if only because it was too much trouble to push them away. Kanata prepared to leave, crooning, "You're always so shy about the truth! Rest up well, Big bro!"

Haruka mumbled his reply under his breath.

The tickle in Kanata's throat returned twice over, but he managed to make it back to his own room before it was too much to resist. Kanata tried to dampen the sound of his coughing with the music from his stereo, and hunched over the sink in his bathroom.

Ever since they'd come to Tokyo, it was like there was something stuck in his throat - but no matter how many times he told Haruka he loved him, it never seemed to dislodge. Kanata coughed harder, gagging as something clung to the back of his tongue. His chest contracted as he wretched, finally spitting up the offending object into the sink.

A clot of something red and blue. Kanata quickly turned the water on, hoping to watch it disappear down the drain. The blood washed off, revealing a small bud, just starting to bloom. A blue rose.

"Hahaha." It hurt to laugh, but spotting the flower in the sink, he couldn't help it. Kanata laughed so much his stomach ached, and he had to cough a few more times - though nothing came out with them. Blue roses were impossible in nature, and that was the form his love chose to take. He thought again of Haruka's expression - not looking at him, but past him, tired, mumbling just loud enough for Kanata to hear: _I wish you'd just disappear._

"Geez, Big bro... If you keep it up... I'm going to think you mean it one day..."

Kanata wouldn't, of course.

Haruka loved him back. He was just shy. He was in denial. He didn't realize that Kanata would be the only one there for him in the end, after all his friends abandoned him yet again. Blue roses weren't supposed to be found in nature, but didn't he have them here blossoming in his chest? Didn't that mean he could make his wish come true, no matter how impossible it seemed?

...If Kanata didn't keep thinking those things, he'd surely die.


End file.
